Getting Through the Holidays

Getting hugs from my students is the best! Gratitude abounds here!

          Ideally, end-of-the-year celebrations and festivities are supposed to be happy and joyful. Yet, the reality is that the holiday season is often anything but fun. High school seniors and their families are particularly vulnerable because of the prolonged levels of intense stress they’ve been experiencing during the recent months due to post-graduate planning. If impending family get-togethers are filling you with worry, try these 3 things to make the holidays a more positive experience:

1. Remember that your college journey is your own! As a high school senior, you do NOT owe anyone an explanation of where you want to go, what schools are on your application list, or any other college-related information. Parents - this applies to you, too!  You have no obligation to share your child’s business with anyone. Period. You are not being rude - you are protecting your emotional well-being. As you may have figured out by now, EVERYONE seems to have an opinion about the college application process, from well-meaning grandparents to cousins who are already in an undergraduate institution that may not be a good fit for you to your neighbor’s step-son’s cousin who allegedly received a full-ride at College X. Everyone has an opinion, and everyone has “advice” that they are itching to share with you, whether you want it or not. Guess what? YOU don’t have to talk about anything college-related at all, because it’s nobody’s business but your own. Try saying politely but firmly: “Thanks for your interest in my college journey! I’m looking forward to sharing my college decision news in the spring!” And that’s it! Now change the subject. Can’t think of anything? Try asking people about THEIR children - that technique almost always works, since parents love to talk about their kids (no matter what age they are).
2. Schedule quiet rest and/or downtime. Sure, you have a few days off from school and family/friends are around, so the temptation to fit in as much fun as possible is there. That said, remember that you have been working overtime this year, not only doing all of your usual activities and schoolwork but ALSO putting in countless hours working on college essays and filling out seemingly endless forms. You may think: “Now’s my chance to get caught up on that homework assignment!” or “I can write one more college essay!” or “Let me try to fit in an entire year’s worth of catching up with my cousins in 48 hours and stay up all night!” Don’t give in to that temptation. Your body and mind need a break, now more than ever. AND, don’t forget that you have another 3.5 weeks to get through of school and college applications. So schedule time to rest, whether it’s making sure that you get at least 8-9 hours of sleep every day during the break, or take time to go off somewhere by yourself and read your favorite book. Temporarily put all things college on hold - that work will be there when you come back to it. The difference will be that you’ll feel more refreshed and energized to tackle what’s left on your college to-do list.
3. Put the phones down and go outside! Seriously, the merits of unplugging from your tech have been documented in scientific studies, as have the immense benefits of being outdoors. Daylight and fresh air do a world of good: you’re moving your body, releasing endorphins, and nourishing your senses with everything that you can absorb, from the scents in the air to the sounds all around you. And you don’t have to be in a rural place to enjoy the outdoors! Take a walk in a nearby public park or garden. Go for a walk around the neighborhood with your dog or a good friend. BE PRESENT. Focus on enjoying what you are experiencing in the moment outside, whether it’s a colorful holiday display in a storefront, the cool design of a local building, the sound of dry leaves crunching under your feet, or the scent and taste of the hot chocolate in your mug.

          Most of all, be present for the family and friends in your life! Tell them you love them and appreciate them. After all, giving thanks to those who have helped you get to where you are today is a “double-gift” - the recipient will feel your love, and you will feel good for having expressed your gratitude. And isn’t “giving thanks” the entire point of the season?